A couple seen from behind, sitting close on a wooden porch step at golden hour, a quiet moment to ask your partner questions, with pink bougainvillea beyond

Here are 100 questions to ask your partner, sorted into fun, deep, silly and future so you can match whatever mood you’re both in tonight. Every one was written fresh for this page.

Most couples don’t run out of love. They just run out of new things to say at the end of a long day. A good question gives you both a reason to put the phones down and actually look at each other.

If you’re tired, start with the fun ones. Save the deep ones for a slow Sunday, and throw in something silly when things get too serious.

100 questions, four moods

Start wherever your energy is tonight.

  • 1 to 25FunEasy and warm. Good for any night, even a tired one.
  • 26 to 50DeepFor a slow evening. Pick one, not five.
  • 51 to 75SillyFor car rides, queues and cooking together.
  • 76 to 100FutureDaydreaming out loud, not a contract.

Fun questions to ask your partner

These are easy and warm, and they work on any night. They’re lovely early on, and they still turn up surprises years in.

  1. What was the best part of your week that you haven’t told me about yet?
  2. Which completely ordinary day with me turned out to be a favourite?
  3. What’s a small luxury you would never give up?
  4. Which song could you play on repeat for a whole road trip?
  5. What food did you love as a kid that you still secretly crave?
  6. If you had a free Saturday with no plans and no budget, how would it go?
  7. What hobby would you start tomorrow if you knew you’d be good at it?
  8. What’s a gift someone got exactly right for you?
  9. Which film could you watch twenty times without getting bored?
  10. Describe your perfect breakfast in full, delicious detail.
  11. If we took a class together, what should it be?
  12. What place from your childhood would you love to show me?
  13. Who was your first celebrity crush, and do you stand by it?
  14. What’s a skill you have that I probably underrate?
  15. What makes a perfect rainy afternoon for you?
  16. If you could master one instrument overnight, which would it be?
  17. When did you last laugh so hard your stomach hurt?
  18. Which season suits you best, and why?
  19. What song gets you dancing no matter where you are?
  20. What’s a kind thing a stranger once did that you still remember?
  21. If you could have dinner with any three people, living or not, who would you invite?
  22. Which view has stopped you in your tracks?
  23. What’s your favourite smell in the whole world?
  24. Which book, show, or film changed the way you see something?
  25. What’s on your bucket list that would surprise me?

Deep questions to ask your partner

Pick one, not five. Give the answer plenty of room, and try not to fix it or argue the point. You’re there to understand, not to win.

  1. When do you feel most loved by me, even in a small way?
  2. What are you still learning to be gentle with yourself about?
  3. How did the adults in your childhood show each other affection?
  4. What’s a belief you held strongly five years ago that has shifted?
  5. When you’re upset, what do you need from me first: space, a hug, or a talk?
  6. What’s a moment in our relationship where you’re proud of how we handled it?
  7. What’s a part of you that people tend to misread at first?
  8. What’s a fear you rarely say out loud?
  9. Which of your friendships has taught you the most about love?
  10. What part of your past still shapes how you react today?
  11. What’s something small I do that makes you feel understood?
  12. What does a good apology look like to you?
  13. What’s something you forgave that took a long time?
  14. What do you think we’re especially good at as a pair?
  15. Is there anything you’ve wanted to tell me but haven’t found the right moment for?
  16. What does feeling safe with someone mean to you?
  17. What compliment would mean more to you than any other?
  18. What value do you hope never changes in you?
  19. How have you grown since we met?
  20. Which memory of us do you return to when things are hard?
  21. Is there something I do that you’d like a bit more of lately?
  22. What’s something you miss that you don’t often talk about?
  23. Where in the world do you feel most at home in your own skin?
  24. What topic could you talk about for hours if I just kept listening?
  25. What does a well-lived life look like to you?

Deep questions can stir up real feelings, and that’s normal. If one lands heavily, it’s fine to stop and come back to it another day. These questions are for connection. They aren’t a replacement for professional support when you need it.

Two coffee mugs and a candle lantern on a seaside balcony table at night, with two chairs facing each other
The deep questions land best when nobody is rushing off.

Silly questions to ask your partner

Once the deep ones have done their work, it helps to laugh. There are no right answers here, only better arguments, so save these for car rides, queues and cooking dinner together.

  1. If our pet, real or imaginary, could talk, what would it complain about first?
  2. What would your name be if you were a racehorse?
  3. Which kitchen utensil best represents your personality?
  4. If you were a snack in a vending machine, which row would you be in, and why?
  5. What’s the weirdest thing you believed as a child?
  6. If you had to put one condiment on everything forever, which would it be?
  7. What animal would you be at a party, and what would you be doing?
  8. If you could swap your laugh for any sound, what would it be?
  9. What’s the most useless fact you know by heart?
  10. If you were a ghost, where would you haunt, and who would you mildly annoy?
  11. What would you name a boat if you owned one?
  12. What dance move do you do when nobody is watching?
  13. If our life had a narrator, whose voice would it be?
  14. Which fruit is overrated? Defend your answer.
  15. If you could only talk in song lyrics for a day, which artist are you choosing?
  16. What would you do first if you woke up tomorrow as a cat?
  17. What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever eaten on purpose?
  18. If you were a cartoon character, what would your catchphrase be?
  19. Which chore would you turn into an Olympic sport, and would you win a medal?
  20. What would you sneak into a cinema if there were no rules?
  21. If you could add one silly law to the whole country for a day, what would it be?
  22. What’s the worst outfit you’d happily wear again?
  23. If you could drive any vehicle from a film or cartoon, which one, and where are we going?
  24. What would your superhero name be if your power was only very mildly useful?
  25. If you could turn one everyday object into a pet, what would you pick?

Questions about your future together

Future questions aren’t a test, and nobody’s signing anything. Treat them as daydreaming out loud. People change their minds, and that’s allowed. If number 81 gets you planning, our anniversary ideas that aren’t just dinner are a good next stop.

  1. Where do you picture us living in five years?
  2. What little yearly ritual could be ours alone?
  3. What does a perfect ordinary weekday look like for you ten years from now?
  4. Which trip should we take together before any other?
  5. What do you want to learn in the next year?
  6. How do you want to celebrate our next anniversary or milestone?
  7. What does “enough money” look like to you?
  8. What kind of home makes you feel calm?
  9. What’s one thing you’d like us to do more of next year?
  10. How do you imagine us spending the holidays?
  11. What does a good retirement look like to you?
  12. What’s a goal of yours I can help with?
  13. Are there any big life changes you’ve been quietly thinking about?
  14. What would you want our friends to say about us in twenty years?
  15. What’s a small habit we could build together this month?
  16. How do you feel about pets, now or later?
  17. What would make next year feel like a good year?
  18. Is there a place you’ve always wanted to live, even for a short while?
  19. Which of our habits do you hope we still have at eighty?
  20. How do you want us to handle busy seasons when we barely see each other?
  21. What’s a dream you put on hold that you’d like to pick back up?
  22. What would our perfect Sunday morning at home include?
  23. What do you want to be able to say you did, by the time you’re old?
  24. Which traditions from your family would you like to keep?
  25. What question should we ask each other again in a year?
A kitchen table set for two with a lit candle, mangoes and pink bougainvillea in the evening
Dinner at home is the easiest place to ask about the future.

How do you turn a question into a real conversation?

A list this long can look like homework. It isn’t. A few small habits make the difference.

  • Pick three, not thirty. One good conversation beats a rushed quiz, so stop while it still feels good.
  • Take turns asking, and answer your own question too.
  • Ask a follow-up. “What made you think of that?” often matters more than the first answer.
  • Anyone can pass on any question, and nobody has to explain why.
  • Try answering apart first. Write your answers down separately, then reveal them together. One answer can’t shape the other, and the reveal is half the fun.

Answer apart, then reveal

The one trick that makes any question more fun.

  1. You answer on your ownWrite it down without peeking.
  2. They answer on their ownSo one answer can’t shape the other.
  3. Reveal both togetherThen ask, “what made you think of that?”

That last trick is the heart of Our Little Thing. There’s one question each day. You each answer on your own, and nothing shows until you’ve both replied. Then you see both answers side by side. It works for couples, and for close friends and family too. Want one right now, with no app at all? Our free question of the day has a new one waiting every day.

Only just started seeing each other? The 60 questions for a new relationship go gentler and slower. For a lighter night, try our would you rather questions for couples. And if you’re spending a stretch apart, our long distance relationship ideas help you stay close, while the questions for family dinners bring everyone else to the table.